The Right Time

Tonight marked our end to the Matchmaker series at Fusion. Lil’ tear. I thought about taking all the single people in the room and arranging their marriages. Jeff and I have told many people that if they would just listen to us, we could tell them who they needed to date and marry, and they wouldn’t have to carry that stress. I thought about just lining everyone up in there and telling them who they each needed to start to date, and even though I had some great ideas, I think that takes out some of the work on your end. And I think the process of following God and praying and investigating people is probably good for you, so tough luck. You’ve got to do it on your own!

Here’s some of the Scripture we flew through tonight and a little synopsis of each one:

  • Phil. 1:6 – you can’t wait until you’re spiritually mature enough to date (that will never happen)
  • Prov. 4:23 – guard your heart, and also guard one another’s heart by not being a careless flirt
  • 1 Pt. 3:3-4 – be careful how you dress, your dress will only attract the wrong kind of person anyway who will leave you for someone better looking one day
  • Prov. 31:10 – an excellent wife is a find better than expensive jewels
  • Ecc. 9:9 – enjoy life with the woman you love – that is your reward on this earth
  • SS 2:4 – a guy’s banner over me is love, guys are supposed to be a rallying point in times of trouble for the ladies
  • SS 4:9-10 – the guy is talking about the woman’s looks, the woman is mainly talking about the guy’s heart (we’re wired differently, that’s not bad, it’s just something to watch out for)
  • SS 3:5 – don’t awaken love until it pleases (you can’t hurry love)
  • Mt. 5:27-30 – stay away from lust (that means guys and girls)
  • Eph. 5:22-25 – a good marriage is a wife who submits and a husband who loves (listen to the podcast for the full explanation – it should be updated by Wednesday)

I did forget something to mention tonight at Fusion and it’s called the 80/20 rule. This is very important – so listen up. Amanda and I saw Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married? movie this weekend. We are huge Tyler Perry fans, but we’re always wondering what we’re getting into. This movie had one concept that was a great lesson.

why did i get married

Here’s the gist of the movie: four couples take a annual retreat to remember why they each got married. On this one trip, two of the four couples are engaged in affairs. When the guys are sitting around, one of the guys explains why they are attracted to these other women. Now, listen to this logic, because this has a lot to do with the people that you are interested in.

You are in a relationship (or for you single people, you could be in a relationship) with someone who is 80% of what you dream of. They are lacking 20% of your ideal partner (could be a significant or an insignificant thing, but it’s not the main thing about that person). But what happens is you look for someone who has the other 20%. In the movie, the guy’s wife wasn’t looking like she did once they got married (20%), but he found someone who had that 20%, but she was lacking the 80% that his wife had.

I see some 20-somethings often looking for someone to date and they miss someone with a fantastic 80%, but they will sacrifice that for someone with 20%. They look for a certain trait because that is what they feel like they need, but they miss out on the essentials.

For those of you who are single, a word of advice: keep the main thing the main thing. Some of you are searching for someone with a trait that really is insignificant, and some of you could look around you and find exactly what you need in someone else that may be lacking in some area (we are all lacking in some area), but it really may not be an essential issue, but just a preference issue. Just something for you to think over.

Travis Agnew is a Christian, husband, father, pastor, author, blogger, and religion instructor.

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1 Comment

  1. Learned this lesson!

    Hey, I think I know what you’re talking about with this 20/80 thing. When I was “looking” for that someone, there were some things I thought would be nice, but after I fell for someone totally in a different ballpark, I realized how much better it was. Example: I am an artsy type, and was looking for someone I could sing duets with. I’m glad God showed me that wasn’t the most important thing; otherwise, I would have missed out on meeting and dating (and marrying soon!) a really great man of God. Sure it’s nice to be able to sing a duet with a guy, but I’d rather keep the one I’ve got because his personality is the best, and he really fears God and wants nothing more than to make me happy. I couldn’t ask for more…I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’m not dumb enough to let this one go!

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