In Gary Chapman’s helpful book, The Five Love Languages, he holds that every person has a specific love language that speaks to them most. Do you know yours?

  • Words of Affirmation – You feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for you, and for the simple, everyday things you do.
  • Quality Time – You feel especially loved when a person gives you undivided attention and spends time alone with you.
  • Receiving Gifts – You feel especially loved by someone who brings you gifts and other tangible expressions of love.
  • Acts of Service – You feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on your household chores.
  • Physical Touch – You feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for you through physical contact.

Chapman’s observation is that we tend to express love in the way we like to be loved. The problem comes when a “physical touch” husband tries to hug and kiss on his wife so much that it fills him up without ever realizing that her love language is “words of affirmation.”  He can hug her all day but can’t tell her the many reasons she is so great.

So now that you know what you are, can you identify your spouse? Try to figure it out and begin to be intentional in that area this week.

Travis Agnew is a Christian, husband, father, pastor, author, blogger, and religion instructor.