The Effects of PDA on Your Children

108614-FBWhile there are varying degrees of PDA (public displays of affection), and you and your spouse’s personalities should definitely be considered, how visible is your love for your spouse? Many people will say, “We don’t have to do all that stuff to show how much we love each other.” That’s true, but it’s not a bad addition.

If your children had to rate your marriage’s connection strictly based upon what they witnessed, how would they grade you?  Check out these two quotes I received a few months ago:

  1. “It was no surprise to me when my parents got a divorce. They never used that word, but I never saw them remotely affectionate towards each other. When I visited my friends’ houses and they would comment at how gross it was to see their parents kiss or hold hands – I quietly wished my parents were like that. Their divorce came as no shock – I never really saw them be in love.” -Beth, 16 year old with divorced parents alternating on the weekends
  2. “When I was sixteen, even though I used to say it was gross when my mom and dad hugged and kissed each other in front of us, I can’t tell you the amount of stability it brought to my life.” -Erin, Beth’s friend, whose parents have been married for 28 years

Have you ever thought that the level of affection you show your spouse speaks something to your children?  I’m not talking about handling yourself in such a way that others think you need a room, but I am talking about intimacy and affection that spills over into life.

While our boys are two, they get really excited when they see mom and dad hugging or giving a kiss.  It shows connection.  It shows that they aren’t at the center of the world.  It shows them that we had a relationship before they were around.  You might think it sounds funny, but our boys just seem secure when their parents show affection towards one another.

With which statement do you most agree?

  • Parents who display affection in front of their children are inconsiderate.
  • Parents who display affection in front of their children are gross.
  • Parents who display affection in front of their children are immature.
  • Parents who display affection in front of their children enjoy attention.
  • Parents who display affection in front of their children are perfectly healthy.
Travis Agnew is a Christian, husband, father, pastor, author, blogger, and religion instructor.

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15 Comments

  1. Travis Agnew

    What do you think:Parents who display affection in front of their children are inconsiderate, gross, immature, enjoy attention, or are perfectly he

  2. Babs Courtney Geoly

    Definitely hea

  3. Josh Tasha Via

    Healthy, for sure!.

  4. Travis Agnew

    Sure, there has to be a balance. There is a difference what a couple shares only together then what others see. And crassness needs to always beav

  5. Travis Agnew

    What do you think:Parents who display affection in front of their children are inconsiderate, gross, immature, enjoy attention, or are perfectly healthy?

  6. Babs Courtney Geoly

    Definitely heatlthy!

  7. Josh Tasha Via

    Healthy, for sure!.tasha.

  8. Kate Byars McKinney

    Definitely healthy. But I do think it's important not to overdo it. For instance, my mom always talked about how healthy it was to be affectionate, but they would kiss deeply in the kitchen, my dad would squeeze her behind, she would say stuff about going upstairs or getting rid of the kids, etc. I was always really uncomfortable. Even though my parents have been married for 28 years, they've had some really, really rough spots. James and I are definitely affectionate, but we don't feel like we have to do anything that should be kept for private in order to show our love. Does that make sense?

  9. Travis Agnew

    Sure, there has to be a balance. There is a difference what a couple shares only together then what others see. And crassness needs to always beavoided.

  10. Melissa Davis Bradley

    Sharing this!!! and he

  11. Taylor Knock

    Very he

  12. Taylor Knock

    Very healthy!

  13. Brian King

    Extremely healthy! So many people I know totally miss this – and their children become their primary relationship rather than their spouse. Also learned to be affectionate even if I didn't feel like it – cuz I felt like it after

  14. Brian King

    Extremely healthy! So many people I know totally miss this – and their children become their primary relationship rather than their spouse. Also learned to be affectionate even if I didn't feel like it – cuz I felt like it after I did!

  15. Melissa Davis Bradley

    Sharing this!!! and healthy.

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