While there are varying degrees of PDA (public displays of affection), and you and your spouse’s personalities should definitely be considered, how visible is your love for your spouse? Many people will say, “We don’t have to do all that stuff to show how much we love each other.” That’s true, but it’s not a bad addition.
If your children had to rate your marriage’s connection strictly based upon what they witnessed, how would they grade you? Check out these two quotes I received a few months ago:
- “It was no surprise to me when my parents got a divorce. They never used that word, but I never saw them remotely affectionate towards each other. When I visited my friends’ houses and they would comment at how gross it was to see their parents kiss or hold hands – I quietly wished my parents were like that. Their divorce came as no shock – I never really saw them be in love.” -Beth, 16 year old with divorced parents alternating on the weekends
- “When I was sixteen, even though I used to say it was gross when my mom and dad hugged and kissed each other in front of us, I can’t tell you the amount of stability it brought to my life.” -Erin, Beth’s friend, whose parents have been married for 28 years
Have you ever thought that the level of affection you show your spouse speaks something to your children? I’m not talking about handling yourself in such a way that others think you need a room, but I am talking about intimacy and affection that spills over into life.
While our boys are two, they get really excited when they see mom and dad hugging or giving a kiss. It shows connection. It shows that they aren’t at the center of the world. It shows them that we had a relationship before they were around. You might think it sounds funny, but our boys just seem secure when their parents show affection towards one another.
With which statement do you most agree?
- Parents who display affection in front of their children are inconsiderate.
- Parents who display affection in front of their children are gross.
- Parents who display affection in front of their children are immature.
- Parents who display affection in front of their children enjoy attention.
- Parents who display affection in front of their children are perfectly healthy.