Church Bulletin Bloopers

Typos happen in all types of mediums.  All types of businesses and organizations have experienced the embarrassment with something written incorrectly.

They can be awkward or unfortunate, but most oftentimes, they are just funny.

The following statements actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

  1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  2. PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.”
  3. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.”
  4. Our youth basketball team is back in action on Wednesday at 8:00 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  5. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
  6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
  7. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  8. Don’t let worry kill you off — let the Church help.
  9. Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  10. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  11. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
  13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”
  14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.
  16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?”  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
  21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
  22. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
  23. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They maybe seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  24. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  25. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
  26. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  27. Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
  28. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  29. The Weight Watchers Group will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
  30. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

Updated

This post went unexpectedly viral years after the original post.  I have add some additional submission as of late due to the traffic.  Here are some extras:

  1. I was creating announcements on Pro Presenter one Sunday to display on the screen. It should have read “We are collecting Pork N Beans,” but I messed up and typed “we are collecting Porn N Beans.”  It ran a few loops before I caught it.
  2. We were moving to a new town and our church had a going away meal at the church…..food was delivered to some that couldn’t get out and the newspaper reported that “sinners’ were delivered to shut ins…instead of dinners 🙂
  3. Our town has it’s annual festival this weekend and one of the announcements on the flyer is about the community “Church in the Park” event. It says it is run by the Area Minstrel Association.
  4. The church I grew up in had a bulletin blooper I still laugh about from time to time. “ITS TIME TO RESTOCK OUR FOOD PANTY with canned meats and other non perishable items” lol, It ran for several weeks before it was caught.
  5. My mother in law was church secretary and once sent a letter about stewardship out to the members which began: Dead Fellow Members.
  6. When my wife and I got married we had a pantry shower to get the essential foods for a home. The following is what the bulletin said. “Come join us Saturday at 7 for a panty shower for Andrew and Karen. Lets make sure this couple has what they need to start a life together”
Travis Agnew is a Christian, husband, father, pastor, author, blogger, and religion instructor.

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28 Comments

  1. Drayton Robinette

    Funny! Strange how the omission or addition of even one letter, or the placement of words can change the entire perception… would love this in an email. d_robinette@msn.com. I have some excellent church going friends and relatives who would love this,

  2. Bob Breed

    It would seem as though no matter how “down” a person might be, this is totally uplifting. These and a prayer will go a long way. Thanks so much for sharing.

  3. Helen Harshman-Edwards

    Love these, lots of laughs and smiles.

  4. lorrie

    We were moving to a new town and our church had a going away meal at the church…..food was delivered to some that couldn’t get out and the newspaper reported that “sinners’ were delivered to shut ins…instead of dinners 🙂

  5. Margaret Chapman

    Reminds me of a notice on St Clent’s Church Oxford on a notice sheet many years ago: ” To raise awareness of water shortages in many parts of the world we are planning to have a queue of people stand in in line from the river to the church with buckets. The idea is to see if we can pass water all the way along St Clement’s Street to the church”

  6. Have you heard this one!?! “Dacon Jones, who is an electrical lineman, has been electrocuted on a job! The whole family was shocked!”

  7. Jane Ellis

    It’s been a long time since I’ve had such a good laugh. Thanks for posting.

  8. Flo Williams

    No body kills Christ the King.

  9. Linda Petrucci

    All with good intentions! Made me laugh harder than I have in a long time. Thanks for sharing

  10. Debbie

    Love them. Made me laugh so hard!

  11. Mark Britton

    Our town has it’s annual festival this weekend and one of the announcements on the flyer is about the community “Church in the Park” event. It says it is run by the Area Minstrel Association. I am the preacher this year.

  12. The church I grew up in had a bulletin blooper I still laugh about from time to time. “ITS TIME TO RESTOCK OUR FOOD PANTY with canned meats and other non perishable items” lol, It ran for several weeks before it was caught.

  13. My mother in law was church secretary and once sent a letter about stewardship out to the members which began: Dead Fellow Members.

  14. Darlene Hortman

    My boss, who is an Elder at our church, showed these to me yesterday. I laughed until tears were flowing. Thanks for the laughter!

  15. Norma Jean Keith

    That was priceless, if you can’t laugh at that, there’s something wrong with your funny bone.

  16. When my wife and I got married we had a pantry shower to get the essential foods for a home. The following is what the bulletin said. “Come join us Saturday at 7 for a panty shower for Andrew and Karen. Lets make sure this couple has what they need to start a life together”

  17. Allison Jones

    Here’s one for you: A young man in our church was on the liver transplant list. Our church secretary sent out an email (and added to the bulletin) — Please pray for Bobby as he waits for his new lover. (Names have been changed to protect the guilty)

  18. Carol Johnson

    The ladies of our church very helpfully put content labels on all of the cupboards in the kitchen. I still chuckle and wonder if anyone ever used the “Serving Bowels.”

  19. ferryboat George

    Our social committee once put an announcement in the bulletin about a party at the church where ‘drunks would be provided’

  20. octopus

    My family had a good giggle over the announcement about extra parking for Christmas Eve one year: “There will also be angel parking across the street.” Pretty sure it was supposed to be “angle parking”.

  21. Susan Belles

    Our daughter’s wedding announcement appeared in the local paper naming our church as the place of the wedding and reception. About the reception it read ” The reception was hosed by the bride’s parents “.

  22. Martha Ann Webb

    Loved them all! Great laugh before bed!

  23. Cheryl Smith

    I was the church secretary for my husband while serving as the women’s ministry. We had a year of Secret Sisters to exchange gifts and encourage each other in our walk with Christ. At the end of the year we have a celebration. In the bulletin it read: Come join us at this years celebration and pool party as we reveal our secret sisters. Many were confused…Cheryl Smith

  24. From a temperance conference programme. Lunch will be gin at 12 noon. Sorry, correction. Lunch will be gin at 12.30.

  25. Sylvia Carpenter

    ENJOYED—ITS FUN TO READ WHAT YOU THINK SOMETIMES BUT IT READS ANOTHER WAY.

  26. lila skoda

    best laugh I’ve had in a long time. hope my neighbors didn’t hear me, since they know I live alone!

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