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Church Bulletin Bloopers

Typos happen in all types of mediums.  All types of businesses and organizations have experienced the embarrassment with something written incorrectly.

They can be awkward or unfortunate, but most oftentimes, they are just funny.

The following statements actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

  1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  2. PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.”
  3. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.”
  4. Our youth basketball team is back in action on Wednesday at 8:00 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  5. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
  6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
  7. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  8. Don’t let worry kill you off — let the Church help.
  9. Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  10. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  11. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
  13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”
  14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.
  16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?”  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
  21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
  22. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
  23. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They maybe seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  24. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  25. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
  26. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  27. Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
  28. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  29. The Weight Watchers Group will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
  30. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”


This post went unexpectedly viral years after the original post.  I have add some additional submission as of late due to the traffic.  Here are some extras:

  1. I was creating announcements on Pro Presenter one Sunday to display on the screen. It should have read “We are collecting Pork N Beans,” but I messed up and typed “we are collecting Porn N Beans.”  It ran a few loops before I caught it.
  2. We were moving to a new town and our church had a going away meal at the church… was delivered to some that couldn’t get out and the newspaper reported that “sinners’ were delivered to shut ins…instead of dinners 🙂
  3. Our town has it’s annual festival this weekend and one of the announcements on the flyer is about the community “Church in the Park” event. It says it is run by the Area Minstrel Association.
  4. The church I grew up in had a bulletin blooper I still laugh about from time to time. “ITS TIME TO RESTOCK OUR FOOD PANTY with canned meats and other non perishable items” lol, It ran for several weeks before it was caught.
  5. My mother in law was church secretary and once sent a letter about stewardship out to the members which began: Dead Fellow Members.
  6. When my wife and I got married we had a pantry shower to get the essential foods for a home. The following is what the bulletin said. “Come join us Saturday at 7 for a panty shower for Andrew and Karen. Lets make sure this couple has what they need to start a life together”