Marriage is not when two people both give 50%. Marriage is when two people both give 100%.
In Ephesians 5, Paul sums up his discussion on marriage by telling husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. Women need love. Men need respect. Simple in concept, difficult in application.
31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband. -Eph. 5:31-33
The problem in applying that concept into your marriage is that you married a sinner (and so did your spouse). You mess up. You hurt each other, and it becomes difficult to get over things that were done and that were said.
The natural tendency in marriage is to wait for your spouse to fix his or her problems before ever fixing your own.
Spouses often tend to pile up hurt upon hurt waiting for the other person to change. Sometimes, we are unwilling to change and it damages our marriages.
- Husbands who don’t feel respect choose to withhold their love from their wives.
- Women who don’t experience love from their husbands choose to withhold respect from them.
This never-ending cycle doesn’t fix the marriage. It doesn’t prove that anyone is right. It hurts each other and breaks the heart of God.
What if you decided today to do your part regardless of how your spouse responded?
What would happen if you didn’t wait on your spouse to remove the speck in his or her eye, but you instead decided to remove the log from your own?
Instead of waiting for your spouse to change, decide to change yourself. Your marriage cannot change if you stay the same.
Decide today to do your part to heal your marriage. Don’t give 50% and expect your spouse to give the other 50%. You give 100% effort to making your marriage work today.