Unforgiveness: The Lingering Bitterness

When wrongs have been done, it is very difficult to move on to a place of healing. Through forgiveness, you can navigate the future by addressing the past.

  • Forgiveness is a defining characteristic of Christianity – we receive it from Christ and offer it to others.
  • God desires for us to become masters of forgiveness and reconciliation.
  • While freedom for our sins is available, we often do not experience it due to an unwillingness to forgive others.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt. 6:14-15).

Most relationships involve scars from wrongs committed by both parties. The unique thing about our relationship with Jesus is we are 100 percent of the problem. He never does anything to strain the relationship between us, and He never provokes us to do evil. We do all the damage on our own. You will never experience true peace until you forgive those who have wronged you and reconcile with those you have wronged.

Offering Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21-35

  • 1st Encounter
    • The first man owed his master 10,000 talents.
    • One talent was roughly the equivalent of 20 years’ wages for a common laborer.
    • A modern-day equivalency was a debt of $6 billion dollars.
  • 2nd Encounter
    • The second slave owed the newly forgiven servant 100 denarii.
    • A common laborer earned about 1 denarius a day.
    • A modern-day equivalency was a debt of $12,000.
  • While others owe us significant debts, it is nothing compared to the debt we owed God.

God’s forgiveness is to be the model for our forgiveness of others.

Compare

Contrast our common expressions with God’s attitude:

My AttitudeGod’s Attitude
“I can forgive, but I can’t forget.”Jer. 31:34
“But they don’t deserve my forgiveness.”Rom. 5:8
“I may forgive him, but I don’t want to be around him.”Heb. 4:16
“I’ll forgive her, but she doesn’t need to know about it.”Isa. 30:18
  

Requesting Forgiveness

Matthew 5:23-24

  • Jesus puts the responsibility in our hands to reach out to those whom we have wounded in the past and to seek their forgiveness.
  • Jesus wants us to address our issues with another before engaging Him in worship.
  • You cannot be right with Him until you are right with them.
  • Name of person I’ve wronged or who has wronged me:
  • What happened:
  • Why I haven’t reconciled up to this point:
  • Specific step I can take today to extend or seek forgiveness in honor of what Christ did for me:

Colossians 3:12-15