I’ve had some new friends ask me recently about our adoption experience. Where do we begin? So I am posting this as a summary but cannot get near how faithful God has been! Nonetheless, here is Eli’s ABBREVIATED story about coming home:

Amanda and I were blessed to have our first son, Obadiah, born May 6, 2008. Little did we know, exactly two weeks later on May 20, our other son, Eli was being born in Ethiopia. Due to the Chapmans’ and other’s influences on our lives, we always knew adoption would be a part of our story, but we did not realize it would be so soon.

As I was completing my last doctoral seminar at Southern Seminary, I came into contact with people who had recently adopted. I asked if they had to choose a place based on the greatness of need and the lack of government corruption, where would they choose and each of them said Ethiopia. That night as I talked with my wife over the phone as she held our other son in South Carolina, I told her the need in Ethiopia. I emailed her links of the situation. I told her that

I couldn’t wait to do that one day.

She responded, “But we have an empty bed right now.”

The empty bed was all we needed. Sure there were issues. Many people had legitimate concerns. What about the race factor? How will this effect your other son? How do you expect to pay for this endeavor?

But we had an empty bed.

While there was a more “right” time for our family to adopt, we began to ask ourselves, when is the “right” time for an orphan to be adopted. We realized that an orphan did not need us to wait to have all of the biological children we might have. An orphan did not care if we were still new at parenthood. An orphan’s perception of financially prepared would probably be a bit different than our American standard of “comfort.”

There was a better time for our family, but the best time for one orphan in the world was right now. So we jumped in. We began to pray for the finances needed for the adoption.

We had enough to start the process, and we believed God would provide every step of the way.

We experienced financial support through many ways. First, we had friends and family support us financially when we did not ask for help. Second, I recorded a music album to sell with the proceeds funding the adoption. One of the songs was written to my two boys called “Your Father’s Arms.” This song not only helped support the adoption but helped encourage others to adopt. Third, Show Hope’s gift to our family was exactly what we needed to finish the process. We prayed for a certain amount in such bad economic times, and God gave us double what we prayed for through Show Hope’s scholarship (Eph. 3:20)!  The financial need was met to the exact amount needed!

When I journeyed to Ethiopia to bring Eli home, I walked into an orphanage and picked up an almost two-year-old from a crib. This child had been malnourished, had developmental delays, and could not walk, crawl, or bear weight on legs when first receiving his information. When I arrived, he was just starting to bear weight on legs.

Holding him in my arms for the first time, I began to sing the song I wrote for him, “Your father’s on his way, to wipe your tears away, no need to be alarmed, you are safe in your father’s arms.” That day, he took his first steps with me in the orphanage to the shock of the nannies. Doctors in the United States told us that Eli’s condition was “atypical for malnourished Ethiopian orphan standards,” and told us that there was a good chance he may never walk or recover. They weren’t sure of what was going on but knew he was in a bad place. When Eli walked into their office holding his chart and talking, the look in their eyes said it all: “Nothing is impossible for our God.”

Only 4 months home, Eli is running and talking and eating and gaining weight. He is wrestling with his brother, kissing his father, and singing with his mother. He is as much of an Agnew as any other member in our home. When we decided to adopt, we thought we were doing a good thing for a child in need, little did we know that we would be the ones blessed most of all and that God’s heart for adoption could spread from our family to others around us.

To those who prayed, encouraged, and supported, a proud father and mother says thank you. You have been a part of our answered prayers. You helped get our precious son home. Obadiah thanks you for giving him such a great brother to tickle and to hug. And Eli thanks you with his smiles and giggles. He is home now. He’s not an orphan any longer. Adoption will forever be a part of his history, but it is not his identity. He is home. And we are grateful.

In December of 2009, I emailed a medical team a file on a little boy named Botela.  One doctor told me that he was atypical.  Atypical for malnourished, sick orphans from Ethiopian standards.  She told me to prepare that he would have severe developmental delays.  She told me to count on some serious setbacks from diseases.

And she told me that at this stage, he would probably never walk, and only if we were up to this challenge, should we take on this “case.”

Today, my son walked into her office, wheeled in his stroller, and told her his name was, “E-ya Ag-newww.”

You should have seen the look on her face.

“I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.”  -Job 42:2

Eli has been home for 5 weeks last Saturday, and yet pictures like the one above keeps our family grounded.

Whenever I see my son crawl over to a vent and stick his face or his feet over the air and squeal in delight, I remember.  I remember how stuffy it was in his cramped room in the orphanage.  Eli and the other 5 children with cribs stuffed together sat in this hot room with no ventilation and in a couple layers of clothes everyday, and their conditions were much better than many children in his situation.

I would play with him everyday, and we would sweat together.  I remember one night talking with Amanda on the phone and telling her I couldn’t wait to get him home so we could wash that sweat smell away.

5 weeks removed from this condition, sometimes I forget, but Eli hasn’t.  He still crawls (or now walks) up to a vent in the house, takes a deep breath, and sighs a sigh of relief that reminds me why I follow Jesus.

We didn’t go to Ethiopia to provide Eli air conditioning.  But it does remind us of how ungrateful we are daily for the comforts that are actually luxuries.  Privileges that we think are necessity.  Even when circumstances aren’t perfect, we have way more than what we deserve or even need.

We are blessed people today.  I pray Eli reminds you of that.

Before I left for Ethiopia to pick up Eli, Obadiah had begun a testing phase entering into the two-year-old realm.  Nothing major, just regular two-year-old behavior.  While it might have been typical, I was not amused.

I came back from Ethiopia a changed man.  You can’t experience the great needs and the extreme tests present there and come back the same.  But when I arrived with Eli, I felt this burden to make sure Obadiah never felt left out.

In the last few days, I have found myself not saying “no” so much.  Things that annoyed me before I realize were typical 2-year-old behavior and not disobedience.  I have found myself reaching for extra hugs or kisses to make sure he knows he is still treasured.  I have gone overboard on encouragement towards him for the simplest things that he does.  I stop and listen more intently to his stuttering phrases as he attempts sentences to explain what he is feeling.

When people adopt, often people have concern that the children already in the home will be neglected.  I can honestly say, Eli has made me a better father to Obadiah.  So much attention has to be given to this child that has serious needs, it would be easy to neglect our other son, but I have found out that this process has forced me to be more intentional with both of my boys.  It is harder work, it is nonstop, but it is such an honor.

I am thankful that Eli is making me a better father.  And I hope my boys are thankful too.

On this day, Obadiah’s 2nd birthday, I pray that I am the kind of father that he can look up to.  I pray he can experience my love to comprehend God’s love for him.  And I just pray he knows how adored he truly is.  Happy Birthday, son!

I’m not going to lie.  The trip back from Ethiopia was the most physically and emotionally grueling experience I have ever had in my life.  I knew a 16 1/2 hour plane ride from Addis Ababa to Washington, D.C. with a 2-year-old in my lap would be difficult.  What I didn’t expect were the absence of changing tables in Ethiopian men’s bathrooms, security checks with bags and baby in hand, not being able to keep him in the pouch on the plane to sleep which meant I had to choose his sleep over my sleep and food, fixing food with no room and no one to hand Eli off to, and other stuff like that.

While it was difficult, he did amazing.  Eli slept in my arms for 8 hours straight until we touched down in Rome.  We played a while, ate, then he took a 3 hour “afternoon” nap on me later.  You know it is bad though when you are watching the plane map and telling yourself, “I can make it if the countdown clock says 9:59.  If we can get under 10 hours I can make it…If I see an 8…If I see a 7…”

You think you are going batty.  We finally arrived in USA and then had a 4 hour layover.  During that time, it was time to eat a meal.

Since most of what Eli ate at the orphanage was starches, and he wasn’t too fond of the stuff I brought on the plane (except what I got for myself…), we found a nice Italian joint in the airport for his first meal in America.  I didn’t get to eat that much.  We looked hilarious after that trip.  He is sitting in a regular sized chair in his pajamas sucking down noodles, and I am an unshaven mess with all the stuff he had gotten on me during the trip.

Cleaned him up, got ready for the flight, had a 2 hour delay due to some mechanical issues, and then he fell asleep on the flight from D.C. to GSP.  I had to work to wake him up since his bodyclock was telling him it was nighttime.  He woke up right before seeing his mommy for the first time.  Both in tears, but each had their own reasons.  Eli was befuddled and scared, Mommy was finally holding her boy she had worked and prayed relentlessly for.

After a trip back to Dad’s arms, Mom got out the Goldfish, and the bond was formed.

The meeting of Obie and Eli was pretty hilarious.  We have it on video and I hope to share it one day.  Obie stated jabbering to Eli, Eli responded with a loud squeal which startled Obie, Obie began to tell Eli, “Shh, Eli. It’s otay, Eli.  Shh.”

Unbelievably, EVERYONE slept through the ENTIRE night Saturday night.  And both boys (and maybe two parents) had a long nap Sunday afternoon.  Last night, Eli woke up and he’s having a little difficulty napping now.  He is having jetlag, 2 ear infections, and some bathroom regulating going on right now.  Thankfully, he is easy to soothe either by me or Amanda.

Everyone has asked how the boys are doing together.  What does the above picture tell you?  I’ll be honest.  I had very low expectations.  2 2 year olds in the same house.  1 with some serious damaging history with some unhealthy learned habits in an orphanage.  I wasn’t too hopeful.

I was planning on saying, “Considering the circumstances, they are doing well.”  All I can truly say today is, “They are simply doing well.”  Not considering the circumstances, they are behaving really well.  Obie has bent over backwards to share with Eli, we have been intentional with both boys, and while there have been a couple of moments of sharing issues, they have behaved remarkably well.  Obie has proven to be a great big brother considering Eli in many ways.

We went to the doctor with Eli this morning.  I can’t tell you the change he has made in a week.  1 week ago today, he freaked out if someone walked him down the hallway of the orphanage.  Today we took him to a small doctor’s office room and he handled himself very well being poked and prodded.  We have some steps to take to get his health up to par, but we are making remarkable improvements.

I plan on sharing a few of the extra moments in the coming days.  So much has happened that it is hard to summarize.  Once again, I am eternally grateful for your encouragement and prayers.  I can honestly say, those prayers kept me going when I thought I was about to lose my mind!  So happy to be a part of the Body of Christ and so honored to be a husband and father today.