Adoption FAQ #1: “Why Ethiopia?”
I have been overwhelmed at the encouraging response from this blog’s readers as we shared the news concerning our adoption. I wanted to write some posts sharing some of the questions we have received and our answers to them.
The first question we have heard is “why Ethiopia?”
I wish I could tell you a super-spiritual story about deciding on this country, but we don’t really have one. The clouds didn’t open up and write Ethiopia in the sky or anything. When I felt God’s urging to adopt, I didn’t have a particular place in mind, but I had also heard enough stories to prepare me to ask certain questions. I have heard horror stories of prospective adoptive parents who have put tons of money, time, and effort into adopting and all of a sudden, a government or a parent backs out of the process leaving the couple still childless and someone being a lot richer due to the episode.
When I met the three guest lecturers (Kevin Ezell, Paul Chitwood, and Randy Stinson) at my Southern Seminary seminar who had all recently adopted, I asked each of them where should we adopt if we decided to adopt. Here were my stipulations to the question: 1) Where is there a great need? 2) Where is the process secure and not corrupt?
Without hesitation, each of them stated that Ethiopia had one of the greatest needs and one of the most secure processes.
Then, Ethiopia it is. If they would have told me any other country at that moment, I would have started looking in that direction. I have to admit: I didn’t really think of adopting a child from there differently than I would anywhere else. We didn’t do it for shock value. We just heard about a need. When a couple says they plan to adopt from Ethiopia, it’s just like when someone says they are going to do mission work in Africa. Anything with Africa always seems to American people as extreme. I’ve never been to Africa (yet), but I care for the orphans there as much as any other orphans.
Obedience is not extreme Christianity. Obedience is expected behavior of someone who has been saved from death.
While adopting in Ethiopia is a huge financial commitment, it isn’t as much as other places. We also studied their track record to see that the government wasn’t abusing the system like other countries are at this point.
While responding to a need might be a spiritual thing, we really didn’t have anything else other than those two needs mentioned above as why to adopt from Ethiopia. Since committing to the process, it has changed.
Did you know?
- There are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia alone. 5 million without a mom or a dad.
- The life expectancy for a person in Ethiopia is 42.
- AIDS, famine, and war are the main factors at why so many orphans don’t make it or don’t live a long life. Due to this environment, some kids don’t stand a chance at life.
- Many orphans will not get a chance to respond to the gospel as orphans in other parts of the world would.
- The more we investigated the process, the more we found that white adoptive parents had a problem with the race issue. We didn’t, so we thought maybe that’s why God led is in that direction (more on that later, I promise
– buckle up…)
That’s the story of how God led us to adopt from Ethiopia. More questions and answers to come. We can’t wait to make a trip there in the future to pick up our baby! Ethiopia or bust!
Related posts:
- Adoption FAQ #3: “What’s the Need in Ethiopia?” After last Sunday’s message, I have received many questions...
- Adoption FAQ #4: “Why Not Adopt in America?” As we have gone through our adoption process, we have...
- Adoption FAQ #2: “Are the Children There…Black?” It’s time to answer another adoption FAQ. I have been...
- Adoption Ministry (Here We Go…) If you were like me, you were overwhelmed a...
- Adoption FAQ #6: “How Will This Affect Your Son?” Since we decided to adopt, we have had questions...
Every time someone tells me to "get over being adopted", I will say: "get over being infertile". Every time someone tells me, "you were chosen", I will correct them: "I was procured". Every time someone suggests that I have no feelings for children, I will respond: "Come live my life, where I am living now, and see what I see every day, and live the wars, and the poverty, here in my land of birth, and what I know of my orphanage, and experience it, and see if you can bear it: I dare you". And every time that someone tells me that adoption is "God's plan", I will state: "To even conceive of such an ignoble, spiteful, and heinous God is the work of the monstrous; the arrogant; the self-conceited; the infinitely vain".
Adoption is a violence, based in inequality; it is candy-coated to make it seem about family and children, but it is an economic and political crime, a treating of symptoms and not of disease; it is a negation of families and an annihilation of communities that are not seen as having an intrinsic human value equal to that of those adopting, for reasons having to do with race, with class, and with a preconceived notion of what makes for a "valid" life in this world.
THE LIE WE LOVE: CORRUPTION IN INTERNATIONAL ADOPTIONS
The Schuster Institute for Investigative Journalism
http://www.brandeis.edu/investigate/gender/adopti...
THE SHOCK DOCTRINE
http://www.naomiklein.org/
RE-EVALUATING ADOPTION: VALIDATING THE LOCAL
http://dissidentvoice.org/2008/02/re-evaluating-a...
I was adopted. It's not about someone being infertile. Not always. It's about accepting someone that's been neglected by someone else. Loving someone that you didn't have to love and perhaps may not have been loved if it hadn't been for that adoption. It's about completely changing someone's life for the better. So no adoption is not violence or based on inequality. Sometimes, the adopter simply comes into that person's life without ever even having the intention to adopt. Then they come to the conclusion that that's the right thing to do. Perhaps that in itself is God hand in things. That's how I'd see it.
That posted too quickly! I meant "One of God's children" as my name
Some great comments here.
One of God's Children, thank you for your story – that was so encouraging to hear. I praise God for someone loving you and you receiving that love so well.
IbnZayd, thanks for your comments too. You obviously have thought a lot this process. I look forward to reading your links. Initially, I feel like you have unfairly stereotyped me into why I am adopting. I do not think Ethiopians or hungry or poor children have a life that is not "valid." I think children without parents are at a disadvantage.
I have heard some talk about Westerners stealing children away, but most of those people do not realize that there are NOT 143 million native prospective adoptive parents waiting in line, if we don't adopt this child, no one will.
I realize this is not the best case scenario, the best case would be for the biological parents to care for this child, but circumstances have not allowed that to happen.
I am not a parent who will negate that child's birth country or heritage, you should get to know me before making a statement like that. I know that Americans have a bad reputation by trying to fix things in this world, but this is not the case. I'm a Christian who happens to live in America, and I shouldn't be stereotyped for where I live and neither should this child.
Amen. We have 2 adopted daughters that, though they are from America, have a different cultural background than we do. We strive to incorporate their history and culture into our life so that it is something that they are familiar with and will one day appreciate about themselves. Yes, it would be best if all parents could take care of their children. However, that's just not the case, unfortunately. And so there are those that, because of their love for God and His children, choose to love these children, care for them, and provide them with something an orphanage or foster home cannot: a forever family. May God give more families a desire to grow their families through adoption.