This Is Gonna Hurt Me More

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Ephesians 6:1-4 – Many parents have said, “This is gonna hurt me more than you” when it comes to discipline, but if a parent fails to correct, there’s more significant pain to come. Parents must take the formation of their children seriously.

It’s gonna hurt you more in the long run if you neglect disciplining your children than if you are active in it now.

The Setup 

  • God calls parents to disciple their children.
  • God also calls parents to discipline their children.
  • Have you ever noticed the connection between disciple and discipline?
  • Disciple – to teach, train
  • Discipline – to train by instruction; to bring to order by control; to punish in order to correct
  • Parents must discipline themselves before they should discipline their children.

Disobedience Dangers (Ephesians 6:1-4)

  • Obeying one’s parents is directly related to one’s relationship with God (6:1).
    • The Bible categorizes disobedience from children as a grave sin (Rom. 1:30).
    • Rebellious children are a sign of the end times (2 Tim. 3:1-2).
    • Unruly children disqualify people from church leadership roles (1 Tim. 3:4-5, 12).
  • The only command containing a promise is the expectation to honor one’s parents (6:2).
    • Children who disobey their parents become
      • Students who disrespect their teachers
      • Employees who disagree with bosses
      • Citizens who disregard authorities
      • Church members who discourage their pastors
      • Adults who disvalue God
  • The more thorough the obedience to one’s parents, the longer one’s life should be expected (6:3).
  • The Bible singles out fathers to show initiation in parenting pursuits without causing frustration in their children (6:4).

The Parenting Pendulum 

  • Too harsh or too lenient
  • We tend to swing the pendulum for different reasons.
    • Parents – repeat or reject?
    • Culture – conform or condemn?
    • Experiences – withdraw or withstand?
    • Peers – endure or endanger?
  • Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Prov. 13:24).
  • If you hope to have godly children, you must eagerly commit to loving discipline.
  • Parenting should serve as a tangible example of the character and concern of God.
  • There is a difference between punishment and discipline.

The Parenting Funnel

  • A common mistake is giving too much freedom to your children early in parenting.
  • If they learn they are in charge early on, it is more challenging to get the authority back.
  • Instead of tightening up in later years, which can be combustible, you should be more rigid in the early years and loosen up when they have shown themselves trustworthy.
  • Flip the Funnel

Stages of Parenting

  • Preschoolers need a commander.
  • Children need a coach.
  • Students need a counselor.
  • Collegiates need a consultant.
  • Adults need a colleague.

Parental Reminders

  1. Delayed obedience is disobedience.
  2. Parents must enforce that sin leads to consequences.
  3. Discover what gets your child’s attention.
  4. Don’t neglect to teach about grace in discipline.
  5. If parents nag about everything, children will not listen to anything.
  6. Don’t punish your child when you have pushed their limits.
  7. Discipline based upon the child’s crime and not based on your reputation.
  8. The most pivotal lessons are the ones they remember.
  9. Don’t use a punishment that teaches them to resent something they should respect.
  10. Never overlook the power of parental affirmation.
  11. Accept that only God can make your children behave as they ought.
  12. Connect the crime to the commandment.
  13. Don’t lose heart in doing good (Gal. 6:9).