In the classic bestseller His Needs, Her Needs, Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.
This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.
Below I will summarize what Harley’s top needs are for each member in marriage. Obviously, this list is not 100% accurate for every person, but it will give you a good idea as you think through what your spouse possibly needs.
His Needs
- Sexual Fulfillment – sex is the unique activity of marriage. It is an exclusive need that only one’s spouse should fulfill.
- Recreational Companionship – is all about doing something enjoyable with someone you enjoy.
- Physical Attractiveness – is normally what first draws you to your spouse. While beauty is subjective, spouses appreciate any attempt made to appear attractive to the other.
- Domestic Support – is when a spouse works hard to provide a well-managed home environment.
- Admiration – expresses love by telling your spouse why you appreciate them.
Her Needs
- Affection – is the expression of care for one’s spouse.
- Intimate Conversation – is different from ordinary conversation in that it reveals deep, personal information.
- Honesty and Openness – provide a sense of security as a spouse provides accurate information concerning thoughts and feelings.
- Financial Support – is the ability to trust that your spouse will do what it takes to make you financially secure.
- Family Commitment – is accepting the responsibility concerning the development of your children.
Travis Agnew serves as the Lead Pastor of Rocky Creek Church in Greenville, SC. His most recent book is Just (About) Married.
