The Double Standard Concerning Women and Lust

Sunday’s message on “A Call to Holiness” was very eye-opening for many people.  We live in a sex-saturated culture, and hopefully the sermon served as a wakeup call to many concerning thoughts and actions that are unbiblical and damaging.

Per conversations I’ve had since then concerning lust, pornography, and sexual immorality, I am always intrigued by a certain line of thinking.  Oftentimes, people will hear a message on sexual sins and hope that all the men in the room are listening.  I pray so.  All of us men need to listen and heed that word.

Since men seem to struggle with sexual sins so much, we tend to believe that women just don’t struggle in that arena and it is simply untrue.

Women are in danger concerning sexual sin just as much as men are.  But what happens in our culture is very intriguing.

A man’s sexual sins are seen as disgusting & vile, but a woman’s identical actions are seen as harmless & fun.

The Scenario

Don’t believe me?  Let’s set up a scenario.

A group of friends decide to hang out one night.  With all the stress that jobs, spouses, and kids can bring, a night of fun is way overdue.  It is great to have a meal at a casual pace.  Lots of food, drinks, and laughs are what this crew needed.  This group leaves the spouses at home to tuck the kids in and take care of things at the house.  Plus, you can’t say everything you want to say with them around.

After the meal, one friend suggests an idea for the evening entertainment.  With little objection, all the friends pile in the caravan and head out.

With disregard to their marital commitments, this group enjoys entertainment provided by strippers.

They see numerous dancers undress, make provocative moves, and in this context, even engage in sexual activity in front of the customers.

Once it is time to go home, they joyfully converse about what they witnessed.  As they drive home, images are imprinted upon their brains.  They arrive home and quietly crawl into bed next to someone with whom they just tampered their relationship.

Does this sound OK?  Does this sound helpful (1 Cor. 10:23)?  Does this sound like a hint of sexual immorality (Eph. 5:3)?

Most of us would say this is not acceptable, helpful, or godly at all.  Not only does this break all types of biblical commands (Job 31:1; Matt. 5:27-28; Prov. 6:25; Eph. 5:3; 1 Thess. 4:3), but it also has now provided them with another visual and sexual standard to which their spouse may not be able (or should not be able) to obtain.

Can you imagine a group of husbands who would do this?  Women reading this scenario are probably losing their minds thinking of how these guys should be beaten, imprisoned, or castrated.

The only problem?  This scenario wasn’t about a group of men.  It was a group of women.

And it happened all over our country in countless movie theaters.  And the tragedy of all tragedies is that it was viewed as just harmless and fun.

Pornography for Women

I was asked in recent weeks what my thought was concerning the movie, Magic Mike XXL.  I had no thought.  I didn’t know about it.  So I told this person that I would check into it.

Here’s the synopsis:

Three years after Mike bowed out of the stripper life at the top of his game, he and the remaining Kings of Tampa hit the road to Myrtle Beach to put on one last blow-out performance.

That’s just the summary.  Sounds like a wholesome flick from the get-go, doesn’t it?

Let me clear: I don’t know of anyone who personally saw the film.  This post is based on a conversation I had with a guy who struggles with lust and wondered why it was acceptable for women to watch something like this movie and yet if he had a lingering glance at a woman, he was seen as a disgusting pig.

Pretty good question.

As I checked into the movie and saw that it turned into a great outing in our country for girlfriends to have a girls’ night out and watch this movie, my heart broke.  It really saddened me to think of anyone going to watch pornography, but especially for a group of women who don’t see this act as a big deal.

I got most of my information from Focus on the Family’s site, Plugged In, which is a great resource to help you determine if it is worth your time or not (unfortunately, there’s not much out there worth your time anymore).  The review was eye-opening.  What is said and done in that film I pray that my daughter and my sons never even encounter let alone spend their money to digest.

Consistent Standards

Women would be disgusted if a group of husband went to watch a movie about female strippers and being entertained by their sexual acts.  Yet for women to do it, it’s simply not a big deal.

But it’s not just that movie is it?

  • It’s fun for a group of girls to fawn over The Bachelor but seen as creepy for a guy to watch The Bachelorette.
  • It’s all fun for a group of young girls to scream over One Direction but disgusting for a teenage boy to lust after the latest pop princess.
  • It is completely acceptable for a young lady to talk about how good-looking a stranger is but it is a reproach for a guy to comment concerning a lady’s beauty.
  • Ladies can acknowledge a guy’s clothing but it is repulsive for a guy to mention the same thing.

Let me be clear: I am not advocating for guys’ standards to change – I’m advocating for consistent standards.

Ladies, your sexual sins are just as filthy as the guys’ sexual sins and you need to stop.

God’s Word never remotely left for allowance concerning women’s freedom to lust.

Men are berated in society for their sex-saturated brains and women are given a free pass to indulge.

God’s instructions are for both parties.

Sin is sin.  Lust is lust.  Immorality is immorality.  Regardless if you are a man or a woman, sin is not cute, fun, or harmless.  Run away from it with all your might.