Just as you considered the complexities that make you who you are, the same is true for the people you will serve alongside within a ministry. All Christian servants are who they are because of God’s design, their experiences, and ongoing sanctification. They hit differently when you think of someone else through this filter.
- You are not the only fearful and wonderful creation God made.
- Your comfort is not to be protected at the risk of inconveniencing everyone else around you.
- God intentionally designed and dearly loves other people besides you.
#1. We Are Different
First, regarding God’s design of other team members, realize that much of what frustrates you might not be because it is wrong, but it is just different. If you disagree with how someone else handles a situation, you aren’t the guaranteed reasonable processor in all things. God has uniquely designed you and distinctively crafted the people you serve with, and God doesn’t make junk. There’s nothing wrong with how God created them. They are different from you, but you aren’t the standard. The rest of civilization is not intended to bend to your personal preferences.Â
#2. We’ve Experienced Different Things
Second, your team members are who they are because they have also experienced much in life. Sometimes, they will respond to you in a way that seems more serious than you feel they are justified to do so, but their past colors much of what they experience. You might do something that reminds them of someone who left deep emotional scars. What you consider a playful nickname might be a trigger word that unleashes a surprising amount of hostility. Certain types of dynamics create deep stress in their lives because of the trauma they have experienced. If you feel they are taking one encounter too seriously, it is because none of us go through one situation without our past being the multi-layered filter by which we regulate everything.
#3. We Aren’t Completely Mature
Finally, you must never forget their sanctification. The people you work with today may not be the same by this time next year. Hopefully, they won’t be. You ought to pray that you will see positive change in their lives. Realizing that they are not yet fully mature should cause you to grant them the type of patience you hope they will extend to you. Grace for you and judgment for others is not how God operates. When conflict comes in their lives, you must prayerfully anticipate that they can respond as Scripture expects them to do so, but you can also give them more than one chance to prove it.
Show the type of patience to people on your ministry team that you desire they would show to you. We’re all different, and that’s not a bad thing.
Travis Agnew serves as the Lead Pastor of Rocky Creek Church in Greenville, SC. His most recent book is Just (About) Married.
