Learning How to Bear with Unbearable Team Members

Jesus’ original call for discipleship gathered twelve men to walk alongside Him for three years. While it is rightly described as a call to be near Jesus, it was also an inadvertent call to be near one another. They had different occupations. Some were family. All of them were Jewish and had similar environmental circumstances, but they were also very different from one another. 

• Consider Peter’s boldness compared to Thomas’ timidity.
• Think about John’s close friendship next to Judas’ deceptive betrayal.
• Imagine what it must have been like for Matthew the tax collector to see Simon the Zealot on the other side of the circle.

As a tax collector, Matthew, a Jewish man, took money from his kinsmen to fund the Roman Empire’s exploits in their land. Being a Jewish tax collector meant valuing financial benefits over national heritage. In that profession, you would prosper financially but be ostracized relationally. Your commitment was blatantly to the Roman Empire.

What about Simon the Zealot? While the adjective can conjure up different meanings, in this context, it reveals that Simon was a political activist who sought to overthrow the Roman Empire. The empirical reach impacted every facet of Jewish society. While the nation as a whole desired to kick their oppression far from their land, zealots were actively conspiring on how to do so. While we don’t know exactly what type of efforts Simon personally made, he would not have had that designation unless he earned it.

As Jesus assembled the original twelve, I wonder if Matthew and Simon knew each other before that moment. Even if they had no previous exposure, potential conflict arose when they understood their profession or passion. With Jesus’ perfect knowledge, it wasn’t as if this was an overlooked component of His budding group. Not only did Jesus know this dynamic could be an issue, but He also considered it a feature. 

Jesus was not gathering a team where they were exactly like each other. The Body of Christ has different members. The family of God has unique siblings.

He wasn’t gathering men who were all alike; He was gathering a group of men that would eventually be like Him.

Amid their distinctions, He was the rallying point and the undeniable standard. 

I don’t know what Jesus did for team building, but I imagine these two had some interactions. I would have loved to see their faces if He asked them to do a trust fall together! These very different men would eventually labor as coworkers and interact as brothers. Jesus didn’t leave one of them out because of potential differences. He placed them together because it might have been good for them to work it out with people who weren’t exactly like them. You wonder if they ever discussed their political positions or previous proceedings, but I imagine those dynamics eventually faded into the past.

They didn’t let their differences keep them from being a part of what Jesus invited them to participate in with their lives.

Every person in the world has significant items they need to consider as essentials to survive on a team, but there are many non-essentials as well. As mature disciples of Jesus, we need to challenge some issues of disagreement within our own thinking. Just because someone doesn’t align with every aspect of our worldview doesn’t mean they are immoral or immature, but we might prove ourselves to be such in how we handle such differences. 

The Apostle Paul wrote about forgiveness, but he also encouraged forbearance. “Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive” (Col. 3:12-13). As someone who had served on numerous mission teams, Paul knew the need to forgive each other when conflict needs to be addressed and bear with one another since conflict is unavoidable. Many struggles create tension that needs to be addressed and provide a warrant for reconciliation to be sought and forgiveness to be confirmed. But many situations don’t require forgiveness; they need to be forgotten.

Bearing with one another is the superpower of those who stay in the ministry for the long haul. Do not get upset about every possible thing. You do not need to point out whenever someone fails to meet the standard. Every team member needs the Holy Spirit, and you are not Him. The people you serve with aren’t perfect, and if you point that out at every turn, your hostility is tearing the team apart, not their inabilities. You will be wise to know what you need to have on a team, but you will be wiser if you know what you need to get over.