No matter how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise, we need each other. Life is far too chaotic and unpredictable to navigate alone. None of us are wired to handle the inevitable hardships of life in isolation. Even the strongest among us is just one stumble away from falling into a pit too deep to climb out of alone. And when—not if—we fall, we need people who are willing to get dirty and sore to help us rise again.
Every family has those stories that get told over and over. One that’s etched into my parents’ memory is a phrase my sister would say as a toddler. Struggling to grab something just out of reach or lift something too heavy, they would offer to help. But like so many kids, she’d push back with the fierce declaration of independence: “I can do it by meself.”
She tried. I did, too. And like most children growing up, we assumed that age would eventually make us capable of everything. But that stubborn streak? It doesn’t fade with time. If anything, it grows. The older we get, the more determined we become to prove we can handle life on our own.
In our attempts to do it “by meself,” we hurt ourselves, damage relationships, and leave wreckage in our wake. We try to prove our strength, but end up exposing a deeper weakness—the pride that keeps us from asking for help. We’d rather silently drown than admit we’re in over our heads. To acknowledge our need feels like failure. So, we keep pretending we’ve got it all under control.
But Scripture tells a different story.
God created the universe with just His words, but when He made humanity, He used His hands (Gen. 2:7). We are the only part of creation made in His image (Gen. 1:27), and yet, the first thing in creation that God ever called “not good” was man being alone (Gen. 2:18). That’s before sin even entered the picture. Adam walked with God Himself—and still, it wasn’t enough. He needed someone else.
God’s statement wasn’t just about marriage; it was about community. We were made to live in relationship. And when sin entered the scene, the first thing it broke wasn’t a rule—it was a relationship. Adam and Eve covered themselves, hid in shame, and blamed each other. Sin shattered the very community they needed most. And it does the same to us.
Isolation is a dangerous trap. Community is a glorious gift.
You were never meant to do it all by yourself.
Travis Agnew serves as the Lead Pastor of Rocky Creek Church in Greenville, SC. His most recent book is Just (About) Married.
