Eight Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before Marriage

Since marriage matters deeply to both God and you, it’s essential to seek the right counsel. This resource is designed to help you engage God’s Word, discuss with your fiancé, and receive guidance from a trusted counselor. I want to walk you through the first three chapters of Genesis and highlight eight truths that can help lay a strong foundation for your marriage.

As you study Genesis 1–3, these eight concepts will guide the journey:

• Formed & Filled – How has God uniquely made each of you, and how can your marriage align with His design?
• Helpless & Alone – What does it mean to be a suitable helper in your spouse’s life?
• Leave & Cleave – How will your relationship change as you leave your family of origin and bond with your spouse?
• Naked & Unashamed – How will emotional trust and sexual intimacy contribute to a healthy marriage?
• Fruitful & Multiply – What biblical insights guide your family and financial planning?
• Commandments & Compromises – How will you help one another stay faithful to God’s truth?
• Shame & Blame – How can you handle sin, conflict, and communication in a Christ-honoring way?
• Truth & Consequences – How do you face sin’s consequences and pursue renewal through Christ?

Genesis 1–3 reveals God’s design, what broke it, and what can restore it. I’d love to help you mine its wisdom so you can experience God’s work in your upcoming marriage.

How to Use This Resource

This book is a supplement, not a substitute for premarital counseling. As a pastor, I’ve seen the importance of both preparation and conversation. When I counsel couples preparing for marriage, I give them this resource to work through in advance so that our sessions can be more focused and fruitful.

Here’s the recommended approach:

1. Individual Study – Each of you should read one chapter per week, reflect personally, and complete the guided questions.
2. Weekly Discussion – Set aside a weekly date night (no wedding planning talk allowed!) to share your insights and responses with each other.
3. Counselor Check-Ins – Plan three sessions with a pastor or mentor:
   • Session 1: After reading Chapters 1–2
   • Session 2: After Chapters 3–5
   • Session 3: After Chapters 6–8

Even if your counselor uses a different approach, bring up any helpful insights or concerning issues this study reveals. Every good counselor welcomes intentional conversations, especially around potential red flags.

A Summary of the Process

• Talk to God (Daily): Read, reflect, and pray through one chapter at a time.
• Talk to Your Fiancé (Weekly): Share personal takeaways and responses to discussion questions.
• Talk to Your Counselor (Occasionally): Highlight progress and challenges in your sessions.

This resource can also be used in small groups. Each person or couple can complete a chapter weekly, and the leader can facilitate discussion using the guide, offering personal insights and biblical wisdom.

Lastly, this process only works if you both commit to it individually. If one person isn’t willing to invest the time now, that’s worth paying attention to. But don’t worry about following this exactly—doing something is better than doing nothing because it’s not perfect.

Start now. Study God’s design. And let this intentional preparation help you build a Christ-centered marriage.

This resource guides couples through Genesis 1–3 to uncover eight foundational truths that can strengthen their future marriage. By engaging God’s Word, sharing intentionally with each other, and seeking wise counsel, couples can prepare for a Christ-centered marriage that lasts.