Think your friends aren’t affecting your faith? The people closest to you may be the biggest reason you’re stuck spiritually—and here’s how to fix it.
Maybe you have your school friends and your church friends. You have your regular hangout crew, but you do keep some youth group acquaintances to keep you connected. It won’t do. You cannot find spiritual success if you have casual associates who follow the Word and best friends who follow the world. The people who will impact you the most are those you spend most of your time with. It is not enough to have a few godly people in your life that you talk with a few hours a month compared to worldly people you are in constant communication with throughout your day.
You can’t compartmentalize your life. It is impossible to follow Jesus without Him calling you to evaluate all aspects of who you are and what you do. That includes your relationships. If you are going to stay faithful in discipleship, your daily rhythms must consist of people surrounding you to encourage you toward such goals.
You can’t say, “Count me in” for discipleship if your most consistent companions say, “Count me out.” If your closest friend discourages your church involvement, that will weigh in on how much you are involved. If you are in a dating relationship that encourages breaking commands you know you should keep, you cannot endure such temptation for long. If your role models celebrate what God condemns, don’t be surprised if you find yourself pursuing those things very soon. Contrastingly, if your nearest relationships help point you to your most important relationship with Christ, they help develop you in a way that will assist you in unthinkable ways.
Having a heartfelt desire to follow Jesus is necessary, but it’s more sustaining if you surround yourself with others who want to see that in you, too. If you took our advice in the last chapter to share your Bible reading plan commitment with a partner, you probably can agree that such a move helps. If that friend or mentor proved intentional, you probably received the right type of encouragement at just the right time. Studying Scripture alongside someone else is so very helpful. Sharing what you learn with another promotes deeper growth. Having a mentor share insights into how to study or what to look for is an incredible gift. Maybe you finished the last assignment in solitude, but you would have reached that finish line in a better place if you had some people running alongside you.
We often exhibit traits of the crowd we connect with the most. Consider your group of friends. There’s a good chance that you might wear the same type of clothes. You don’t match every article of clothing, but there’s a good chance your style is similar. What about entertainment? Have you realized that you often enjoy the same kind of music or media with your friends? If you spend enough time together, you might find yourselves using the exact phrases. It’s normal. We all do it. Whoever shares most of our time often shares most of our traits.
That reason alone might be why your discipleship is not where it should be. It may not be a motivation problem at all. It definitely isn’t an opportunity issue. We are sure that you have felt the urge to grow and have access to numerous people and resources to help you to that end. So, if you feel stuck, maybe it’s because the people around you are not supporting your desire for discipleship. Taking a step forward at an annual camp cannot overcompensate regular backtracking. No matter how passionate your intentions may be, your discipleship will be sabotaged by allowing your best friends to lead you to poor decisions.
What about those friends who don’t know Jesus? You don’t want to isolate yourself into a Christian bubble, but you have to develop a healthy perspective. You can be missional with many if you are accountable to a few. Decide that the people closest to you will be closest to God, and then you will have the support you need to reach out. Remember that whoever you are trying to convert might also be trying to convert you to another way of living. Establish your core group of friends who can help you in your discipleship, and then you will have the framework by which you can reach out to others.
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