Every workplace has that guy. Or maybe even that girl. You know the one—draining the energy out of the room, making everyone tiptoe around their feelings, forcing coworkers to reroute tasks just to keep the peace. Nobody wants to be that guy, but if we’re not careful, we can slowly become him without even realizing it.
Signs You Might Be “That Guy/Girl”
- You take every piece of feedback as a personal attack.
- You leave people more exhausted than refreshed after conversations.
- You make the work revolve around your preferences instead of the mission.
Proverbs 17:14 says, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” In other words, unchecked attitudes spill over and affect everyone.
3 Ways to Avoid Being “That Guy/That Girl”
1. Start with your own heart.
Jesus told us to take the log out of our own eye before worrying about someone else’s speck (Matt. 7:5). That means the first step is self-evaluation. Ask yourself: Am I approachable? Am I defensive? Am I harder to work with than I realize? Humility disarms tension. Pride multiplies it.
2. Use your words to build, not break.
Ephesians 4:29 calls us to speak what builds others up. Anyone can criticize, but it takes intentionality to encourage. Even small affirmations—“I appreciate your effort,” or “That was a good idea”—can shift the atmosphere of a workplace. People should leave conversations with you lighter, not heavier.
3. Be a peacemaker, not a peace taker.
Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Workplaces are stressful enough; don’t add to it by making people walk on eggshells. Be the steady presence who brings calm and clarity instead of drama.
A Better Way Forward
Is your staff/team struggling? Have you ever considered how your attitudes and actions affect it?
Teams thrive when people bring humility, encouragement, and peace. If you sense you’ve been defensive or draining lately, don’t excuse it. Own it. Reset. Ask God to help you be someone who lightens the load rather than makes it heavier.
Nobody wants to be “that guy” at work. And the good news? You don’t have to be.
