I Forget My Son Is Black Until We Are in Public

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Adoption Family

I don’t how to say this in a politically correct way, so I’ll just say it how I see it:

I forget my son is black until we are in public.

I’m not exaggerating.  I’m not trying to be spiritual.  It’s just the way it is.  When I go home at 5:00 today, I will have two boys run to the door to give my hugs and kisses.  When I see them, all I see is my two sons.  I don’t see one as black, one as white.  I don’t see one as adopted, one as biological.  They are simply my sons.  It is amazing how God works in your heart.

I see it that way.  But not everyone else does.  It’s interesting to me.  I will get the boys out of their car seats, and we will walk into a restaurant and all of a sudden the stares of other people remind me: your family is different.  And then I remember.

The stares are different.  Not all stares mean the same thing.

  1. The Confused Stare – “Maybe these boys are just friends, but they are wearing the same clothes.  How can this be?”
  2. The Disapproving Stare – “That just ain’t right” (these stares come from people regardless of race – you might be surprised).
  3. The Blank Stare – “Huh? Why is that white man holding that black child’s hand?”
  4. The Accepting Stare – “I don’t know how this happened or your story, but I think that is right on.”

We don’t mind the stares.  We have gotten used to them.  If our family encourages people or challenges them to think, that is a good thing.

I only concern myself with certain stares.  I am concerned with the stares from my boys.

When they stare at me, they see their daddy.  Not their white daddy, I am simply their daddy.  I want my wife to stare at me with trusting eyes.  I want my Father to stare at me and see a servant with whom He is pleased.

And at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters.

If you obsess to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God?  Or am I striving to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ” -Gal. 1:10.

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