Kingdom-Minded Empty-Nesters


In the last year, I have had many opportunities to speak with congregations about the need for family discipleship.  While I love speaking with eager parents who want to apply the teaching immediately within their context, I also have this burden for empty-nesters.

In every situation, I have had someone whose children are out of the home say, “I sure wish I would have heard that message 50 years ago.  My children are far away from the Lord now.  There’s not much I can do.”

In those moments, it doesn’t help to live in regret.  What’s past is past.  God is more concerned with tomorrow than yesterday.

I try to encourage these empty-nesters that God can still use them in the lives of their children and their grandchildren.  While senior adults may have retired from their jobs, they have not retired from the Kingdom of God.

“Loving our children is a promise.  A covenant.  A chosen occupation.  Times will change, and the needs of our kids will change with them.”  –The Love Dare for Parents, Day 39

While you will always be your children’s parent, you will not always parent them the same way.  As they grow older, they do not need you as a parent in the way they previously needed you.

Young Parents

For young parents, this time is coming quickly.  Your identity has to be more than you being a small child’s parent.  Think about this: As your role transitions, what future stage of parenting do you think you will find the most challenging personally?

As they grow and develop, there is a chance that they will disappoint you in some way.  Do your children believe that you are relentlessly committed to loving them for their entire lives?

While your role as a parent will change, your love for your children must endure.  No matter what the upcoming challenges may be, you must assure your children of your steadfast commitment to them.


And just because they are grown and gone and your nest is empty does not mean that your time to impact them has gone away.  It is a different role and you must utilize different methods, but your children need to see Christ in you still no matter how old you are or how old they are.

You may not believe this, but the younger folks in your church need you and even want you around.  I know our culture says differently, but I hear it all the time.  I hear how they want to know people who have stayed faithful for the long haul.  How rare it is for people to find mentors to whom they can look up.

In the last month, I have talked with 1 high school student, 2 college students, and 4 young parents who all made some comment to me about how they wish they knew more senior adults who loved Jesus that they could share life with.

I pray that our churches and families would be full of kingdom-minded empty-nesters who are committed to changing generations coming behind them for the cause of Christ.

Psalm 78:1 Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;
incline your ears to the words of my mouth!
2 I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
3 things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.
4 We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.
5 He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
6 that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
7 so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments;
8 and that they should not be like their fathers,
a stubborn and rebellious generation,
a generation whose heart was not steadfast,
whose spirit was not faithful to God.