I am so happy to share with you that Just (About) Married, a premarital book for intentional couples, is available today. I’ve had a burden for years to develop a resource that would assist couples in our church to better prepare for marriage, and it is finally complete.
What’s the Book About
You’re just (about) married but not yet. With all the preparations you are making, don’t overlook the most important one. You must prepare for a marriage rather than just plan for a wedding. Once the event is over, you have a lifetime with one person, and what is your expectation?
This resource can prepare you for a healthy marriage. Instead of a substitute, use this resource to supplement premarital counseling. No couple is ever fully prepared for marriage, but this book seeks to help couples navigate with biblical wisdom as they begin their marriage. Exploring Genesis 1-3, we find the way marriage was intended, what broke it, and what can restore it.
How to Use the Book
When a couple asks me to officiate their wedding or administer their premarital counseling, I plan to give each one a copy of this resource and provide the reading guide to maximize our in-person time with either me, another pastoral counselor, or a mentoring couple.
I recommend you each read one chapter a week independently and then discuss what you are learning, one chapter at a time, on a date night. During that get-together, no wedding ceremony preparation discussions are allowed, but it is reserved for sharing insights learned from the content and discussing the questions at the end of each chapter. Ensure that you share what you are learning with one another.
I recommend that at least three premarital counseling sessions be planned, each scheduled after the couple has read three chapters. Before the first session, read this intro and chapters 1-2. Before the second session, read chapters 3-5. And before the last session, read chapters 6-8.
If your premarital counselor desires to use the resource, you can simply coordinate with the questions at the back of each section. If your counselor uses another help or discussion plan, that is perfectly fine. If the content of this book creates a helpful talking point for you or highlights a potentially disagreeable or dangerous issue as a couple, bring that issue up to your counselor when you all meet together. Any counselor will welcome an intentional conversation about a potentially endangering area in your budding relationship.
The Three Discussions
What I’m asking you to do is to discuss marriage with God (daily), your fiancé (weekly), and your counselor (occasionally). In summary, the best way to use this resource:
- Discuss with God – Read and process the truths from a chapter daily on your own, and prayerfully and personally do the work within it.
- Discuss with Your Fiancé – Discuss a chapter at a time with your fiancé, and share insights and answers to the questions.
- Discuss with Your Counselor – Share insights from each section with your counselor at your scheduled sessions.
This resource can be used as a small group guide as well. Assign a chapter a week as homework for individuals and couples, and your facilitator can use this guide as a conversation starter. The content will provide ways for the leader to bring personal testimony, practical wisdom, or discussion questions within the group setting.
I will be sharing more in the days ahead, but I hope this description serves you to know if this book could be used in your life, as a gift for that couple preparing for marriage, or as a counseling resource in your ministry.