If you’ve been in a dating relationship for some time, you might consider if this path is leading toward marriage. While relational compatibility and others’ approval are helpful, you must determine if God thinks your relationship is worthwhile.
What drew you and your fiancé closer? When you first connected, you might have become interested in each other due to physical attraction, shared experiences, effortless conversation, or enjoyable interactions. Maybe it was a combination of those and even more.
Those things are great catalysts to spark interest, but they cannot guarantee commitment. What drew you close will not keep you close. At a more profound level, you must see where God is leading you and your fiancé and honestly assess if you are heading in the same supportive direction.
How can you know if God wants you married to this person? It is simple. Does the person you are considering marrying help you or hurt you in your attempt to follow Jesus? If you can better follow God’s plan for your life with this person, get married. If you can’t, you need to end the relationship. Once you consider how both of you have been formed and filled, you can better comprehend if a marital union helps or hurts God’s design.
Next to following Jesus, there is no more critical decision than determining whom you will marry.
No matter how a marriage turns out, you will be undeniably connected to this person for the rest of your life. With this book in your hand, I imagine you are reasonably confident that your relationship is heading for marriage. Still, I want to warn you as lovingly as possible – do not marry the wrong person. The fallout is more complex than you can imagine.
If you commit to tethering yourself to someone going in the opposite direction of where you should be headed, you will never experience God’s best for your life. You will not arrive at the ideal place where God is leading you. That’s why it is so vital that you don’t settle.
I know you are getting older. I know your friends are already engaged. I know your family is pressuring you. I understand that the pool of candidates is decreasing by the year. I know that you don’t want to be lonely. But that doesn’t mean that you need to compromise your standards.
Many people have initial convictions for dating and marriage, but the urgency to find someone increases when the candidate pool decreases. Don’t settle for less than God’s best. In fact, due to the critical nature of this type of connection, you desperately need to beware of compromising.
If you are older, you ought to be mature enough to make decisions with wisdom. If your friends are engaged, you should look around and notice how some of them have changed for the worse to keep that relationship intact. If your family is pressuring you, I guarantee those who have marriages worth repeating would not want you to force something to work that isn’t healthy. If the crowd of prospects is decreasing, that just means that the field has narrowed in order to focus.
If you don’t want to be lonely, realize you can experience an even worse version of loneliness than being single; you can be married and lonely.