Cautions for Single Parents

Parenting with a spouse is challenging enough, but single parenting is an incredibly daunting task. Consider these warnings as you undertake this important calling for the sake of your children.

Divorce is plaguing the church. Statistics are essentially the same concerning the divorce rates for Christians and non-Christians. Fatherlessness is like a cancer sweeping through our country. While both men and women leave their families to follow other pursuits, more often, men are leaving behind single moms to work overtime within the home.

In some homes, two spouses physically live in the same house, but one parent practically exists as a single parent. Married to a detached, inconsistent spouse, one parent often carries the spiritual and emotional weight of raising children. Whether you are legally or practically separated from your spouse, the challenges are great in either situation.

The way in which you handle yourself in front of your children will speak volumes to them. Believe that God is able to do extraordinary things through broken situations. Timothy’s mother, Eunice, is remembered for her faith in God, not her complaints concerning her unbelieving husband. If your spouse is out of the picture, make sure to focus on the hope found in all that Jesus provides and not on all the heartache that your ex has brought.

If your ex-spouse is remarried, be cautious how you speak of your children’s stepparent. No matter who is mostly to blame for your divorce, as a believer, you are still called to live at peace with everyone as much as it depends on you (Rom 12:18). Refrain from teaching your children bitterness, and show them Christ in the way that you forgive all the people who are involved in your child’s life.

One other word of caution: in your desire to provide a stable family for your children, don’t settle for anything less than God’s best concerning a new spouse. Oftentimes, a lonely and desperate parent will date or marry someone to fill an empty seat at the dinner table. There is something worse than being single: getting remarried to someone who does not love God and can do more damage to you and to your children over time.

For those who have lost a spouse in death, the same applies to you.  Be wise in how you go forward. Your children do not need a simple replacement. Trust God that in your attempts to follow him, God will do exceedingly abundantly what you ask of him (Eph 3:20) as you raise your children.