Stop Asking “How Far Is Too Far?”

Any step away from God will always be too far.

One of the most common questions I hear from college students is, “How far is too far?”

At first, it sounds like an honest question. In reality, it often reveals the wrong goal. The question assumes that holiness is a line to get as close to as possible without crossing. It asks how much compromise is acceptable rather than how faithfully we can honor Christ.

The better question is, “How can I glorify God with my purity?”

Peter wrote, “Be holy, because I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16). Paul added that there should “not be even a hint of sexual immorality” among God’s people (Ephesians 5:3). God’s standard has never been seeing how close we can get to sin. His standard has always been holiness.

Purity Is About More Than Rules

Our culture treats sex like a toy. Scripture presents it as a gift. God created sex. He designed it, blessed it, and gave it as a gift to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage. Like every good gift from God, it flourishes when it is used according to His design.

That changes how we think about purity. God isn’t trying to keep us from joy. He’s protecting the joy He created us to experience.

Every compromise before God’s timing makes it easier to compromise again. Sin always promises freedom, but it gradually steals what it promised to give.

Stop Asking the Wrong Question

Whenever someone asks, “How far is too far?” they’re usually trying to locate the line.

• Can we do this?
• What about this?
• Is this technically wrong?

Those questions miss the point. Imagine hiking along the edge of a cliff. You wouldn’t ask how close you could walk to the edge without falling. You would stay as far away from it as possible.

Purity works the same way. The goal isn’t to flirt with temptation. The goal is to flee from it (2 Timothy 2:22). Any step away from God will always be too far.

Establish Boundaries Before You Need Them

One of the biggest mistakes dating couples make is waiting until temptation arrives before deciding where the boundaries are. By then, emotions have taken over.

If you’re dating, have the awkward conversation before you’re in an awkward situation.

• Decide together what honors Christ.
• Decide where the boundaries are.
• Decide when dates end.
• Decide what situations you’ll avoid.

Those conversations are far less painful than the regret that comes from repeated compromise.

Fight for Purity

Purity doesn’t happen accidentally. It requires intentionality.

• Repent quickly when you fail.
• Find an accountability partner who will ask hard questions.
• Fill your mind with Scripture.
• Remove unnecessary sources of temptation.
• Don’t assume you’re stronger than temptation; assume you need God’s help every day.

God always provides a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13), but we have to choose to take it.

Love Means Obedience

Sometimes a boyfriend or girlfriend will say, “If you love me, you will…”

Jesus finished that sentence differently.

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15).

Real love never asks someone to disobey Christ. It encourages obedience. One day, if God leads you into marriage, you’ll be grateful you valued holiness over temporary pleasure. God’s commands are never designed to diminish joy. They protect it.

Stop asking, “How far is too far?”

Start asking, “How close can I stay to Jesus?”

That’s the question that leads to freedom.

Excerpt from Freshman 15