Church Sign: April Fools’ Day

While you are either attempting to trick people or to avoid being tricked today with April Fools’ Day pranks, I thought you might enjoy this church’s sign. It reads: “APRIL 1ST HAPPY EVOLUTIONIST DAY” Even if they are interpreting Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53:1 to have “fool” synonymous with “evolutionist,” I’m not sure how much good this does.  It might …

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Bad Church Sign: Flippin Church

This one isn’t even their fault.  Located in Flippin, AR, this church sign never had a chance. One look at their website and they seem to be a real caring congregation. The name of their town is just simply funny to me.

Bad Church Sign: Bellybutton Lent

Many folks are celebrating Lent currently leading up to Easter.  Lent was created by the Catholic Church hundreds of years after Jesus as a way to deprive oneself of certain things to focus more on Jesus.  While other folks outside of the Catholic Church celebrate it now, it is not a biblical command. Even though I don’t practice Lent, this …

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When a Church or a Pastor Disgusts You (From Afar)

The internet changes everything. In this age of information, we have access to more positive and negative resources than ever before. It definitely changes the Church culture in America. Where we once competed with the church down the street, we now compete with the church across the state or across the globe.  Christians get into a public display of affection …

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Bad Church Sign: Hardest Job for a Woman

This bad church sign reads: HARDEST JOB FOR A WOMAN: PRETEND TO BE DUMMER THAN A MAN Questions: What does this mean? What is this trying to mean? Who put this on the sign? Man or woman? Is this smart person aware they have a spelling mistake? Is this the hardest job for a woman? [Tweet “HARDEST JOB FOR A …

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Church Sign: Legalize Marijuana

This week’s church sign: “THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS WITHIN LEGALIZE MARIJUANA.” Well, at least we are clear concerning their stance on the issue. I wonder if they are implying that the usage of marijuana assists in experiencing the kingdom of heaven within?  Interesting theory.  I am sure you experience something. Regardless of whether you agree with their opinion or …

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Bad Church Sign: Drop It Like It’s Hot

Do churches need to be cultural to be commissional? This church must think so.  Their sign reads: BRING YOUR SIN 2 THE ALTER AND DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT What you think?    

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Typos happen in all types of mediums.  All types of businesses and organizations have experienced the embarrassment with something written incorrectly. They can be awkward or unfortunate, but most oftentimes, they are just funny. The following statements actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come …

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Bad Church Sign: Average Temp in Hell

This week’s bad church sign reads: AVERAGE TEMP HERE 95 AVERAGE TEMP IN HELL 200 As summer approaches, more and more church signs will use the rising temperatures to scare you into heaven.  Let me make clear: fear of hell does not permit you a seat in heaven.  Salvation is more involved than that. Regardless of the theological implications, 200 …

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Bad Church Sign: Tired of Contemporary?

tired-contemporary

This week’s bad church sign says:

TIRED OF CONTEMPORARY?

COME TRY US.

I don’t know what town this is.  I’m unsure of what church this is.  But I know the situation exactly.  Want me to paint the picture?

It’s in the Bible belt.  It’s in a city where there is a lot of transfer growth.  Sheep hopping from flock to flock.  There is one (or more) churches who have grown recently due to a contemporary service or flavor.  Some of them are traditional existing churches that have turned more and more contemporary over the years.

The church in the picture has lost some members due to that fact.  In an effort to lure people into their flock, they use an advertising campaign for anyone passing by.  But the ad is not for just anyone, is it?  Read it.  Is it for church people or unchurched people?

It’s for churched people of course.  Outsiders don’t even know what a contemporary is in the context that us regulars understand it to be.  This church is appealing to members of another flock.  Actually, they are appealing to disgruntled members of other flocks in hoping that those worn out with the 20 minutes of contemporary worship music within a week’s time (which is .1% of the 10,080 minutes we are called to be the church all week long) will now join their flock.  Let’s gather a group of disgruntled sheep in hopes that all their hopes and preferences will be met at our church house.

That’s a flock full of quite the dynamics, I would say.

This sign reveals a bunch about the state of the American Church today:

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Bad Church Sign: A Ride to Hell?

hot-hell-call

As the summer heat begins to grow in intensity, threats concerning the stifling weather of hell will begin to grace many church signs.

To start this wonderful time of year where we try to scare people into church, I give you this week’s bad church sign:

HOT?

IMAGINE HELL

FOR A RIDE CALL…

Not only is this church willing to tell you how hot is, they are also willing to give you a ride there ;)!  That’s very thoughtful of them, but I’d rather pass.

A few thoughts:

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Bad Church Sign: God Could Not Be Everywhere

everywhere

Here’s a church sign someone probably decided was a good idea for Mother’s Day:

“GOD COULD NOT BE EVERYWHERE SO HE CREATED MOTHERS”

Fail.

Epic fail.

In an attempt to make mothers feel special, this church actually has made them more anxious.  To live in a world where God was not everywhere means that the sustainment of life would be in our hands which would be a scary place to be.

Here’s why it is theologically inaccurate:

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Bad Church Sign: We Love Hurting People

  This week’s bad church sign: WE LOVE HURTING PEOPLE Thanks for the warning.  I will make sure to steer clear of you in the future so that I am not your next victim 😉

Bad Church Sign: Your Mother is What?!

  Here’s a church sign for you just in time for Mother’s Day: “SHE AIN’T HEAVY SHE’S MY MOTHER.” Good to know, church with a pulse, good to know. And I imagine your mother is happy to know that as well!

Bad Church Sign: Get Off Your Donkey

Received this church sign from a friend recently.  Too thought-provoking not too share.  This week’s bad church sign of the week says:

SERMON OCT. 14

GET OFF YOUR DONKEY

LUKE 10:25-37

And if you are like me, you automatically see the insinuation with the replacement word for donkey leaping into your mind.  The passage is of the Good Samaritan.  Don’t avoid needs when you see them, get off of your literally donkey or your figurative donkey and get up to help somebody.  That’s the point of the message.

It’s funny.  It’s clever.  But is it right?  Where is the line between being engaging and being crude?

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Bad Church Sign: Tomlin

Bad Church Sign of the Week:

“OUR WORSHIP LEADER WAS CONTEMPORARY WHEN CHRIS TOMLIN WAS IN JR HIGH”

Red Sea Church, you win.  I don’t know what you win, but you definitely have it wrapped up.

So what is it that your church boasts about?  

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Bad Church Sign: 50 Shades

This week’s bad church sign of the week reads…uhmm…well…here we go:

“Fifty Shades of Old Testament Sex”

Wow.  In the last year, the book, Fifty Shades of Grey, took America by storm.  This story on sexuality had many giving it rave reviews and others claiming it was down right evil.  And so what does this church do?  Use this controversial title to lure passerbys into their church to hear how Old Testament sex is like the book?  Better than the book?  Not sure exactly.

What’s the problem?

The problem is that so many churches today borrow so much material from culture and then try to spiritualize it.

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Bad Church Van Sign of the Week: Whoremongers

This week’s bad church sign is actually a bad church van sign.

Can you imagine riding by this vehicle on your way to work?  I have been trying to imagine the driver’s face as he pulls by people.  He is definitely not embarrassed.  Maybe he turns a glance at every passing car in a judgmental, arrogant stare.  Maybe he thrives on getting people upset.  Who knows?

The sign says:

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Bad Church Sign: No, Luke, I Am Your Father

Thankful to Karen Erskine for sending this sign to me.  This week’s bad church sign of the week has the Jesus character telling Luke Skywalker that, in fact, Darth Vader is not his father.  Instead, he is. This one isn’t that bad per se, but is quite hilarious on one side.  On the other side, I really wish I knew …

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Bad Church Sign: “Our New Minister…”

I had to share a bad church sign with you that reads:

“OUR NEW MINISTER ASKED ME TO CHANGE THIS SIGN – SO I DID”

Hmmm…I wonder if the chairman of the marquee committee likes his new pastor or not?  While this makes me laugh at first glance, it also reveals a tragic mindset at second glance.  People are losing more and more respect for their pastors.

And you know why people are losing respect for their pastors?

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Bad Church Sign: Stolen AC

This week’s bad church sign says: “WHOEVER STOLE OUR AC UNITES KEEP ONE IT IS HOT WHERE YOURE GOING.” Let’s just say that you were the person who stole that unit.  You went to that church intentionally because you know you could easily acquire them.  You either needed the money or you wanted the cool relief in your home.  You …

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Bad Church Sign: No Way Out

This week’s bad church sign (thanks Easler for sending this one to me) states: “HELL ONE WAY IN  NO WAY OUT WELCOME” How would you improve this sign’s message?

Bad Church Sign: It’s Not That Bad

This week’s bad church sign comes from The Potter’s House.  The tag line reads: “You should come, it’s not that bad.” Before I comment upon this statement (there are a few angles to look at it), I want to hear from you.  What does this statement say to you?

Bad Church Sign of the Week: Loving the…

Someone sent me this church sign this week.  Theologically, I understand what they are trying to convey, but I am curious in your thoughts. Was this a wise phrase to put up on their church sign?

Bad Church Sign: Independent Old Timey…

This week’s bad church sign is seen on many church signs across the Bible Belt. This sign states: INDEPENDENT OLD TIMEY HELL-FIRE BRIMSTONE KING JAMES PREACHING” Wow.  That’s a mouthful. Let me break it down and tell you what it is saying: Independent – We don’t agree with the stances of larger denominations, so we remain independent from everyone else. …

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Bad Church Sign: God’s Last Name is Not…

I had to pull over on the side of the road years ago to get this one.  This unfortunate church sign states:

“GOD’S LAST NAME IS NOT ‘DAMN'”

I do agree with “the entire congregation.”  That is not his last name.  And probably like this group, I am bothered when I hear people use God’s name in vain by cursing with it.  “GD” bothers me, but so does when I slip up and say, “Oh, my God” and I am not actually calling on him.  Is this sign the best way to combat what people or doing?  Not sure.

Does it bother you when you hear someone breaking the 3rd commandment: “Do not take the LORD God’s name in vain?”

That is one way to break that commandment, but did you know that there is another one that people use much more frequently?

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Bad Church Sign: Come Hear Our Preacher

It’s been a while since I commented on a church sign, and many people have complained concerning that fact, so it’s that time again: this is my bad church sign of the week! This week’s sign reads: “DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS?  COME HEAR OUR PREACHER” Now what they probably meant was that their preacher was going to give …

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“If It Ain’t King James…”

I had a question from a friend the other day about the King James Version of the Bible.  Maybe like you, this person had read a sign that said, “If it ain’t King James it ain’t Bible” and wondered where that sentiment came from. There are many people who believe that the King James Version is the version that Jesus …

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5 Worst Christmas Church Signs

In my love of bad church signs, I thought I would share with you some of the most intriguing church signs of this Christmas season.  Here we go: 1.  NO OFFERING PEACE ON EARTH – I mean does a church want to advertise they can’t provide that. 2.  SANTA CLAUS NEVER DIED FOR ANYONE – I actually kind of like …

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Church Sign: “God Wants to Know Ya’ll…”

This week’s church sign states: “GOD WANTS TO KNOW YA’LL BETTER.  IF YOU HAVE TIME.  IF NOT, HE LOVES YOU ANYWAY!” I love the South.  I love the word “ya’ll.”  Something tells me this sign isn’t located in the North. Do you have any even more Southern sounding phrase that you would like to see on a church sign?

Church Sign: Jesus is Watching

Normally, I’m not a fan of most church signs, but this one I dig.  Even though it is a picture of a white, American Jesus which isn’t that close to reality, the message should get some people to think twice.  Enjoy the picture and the context: Confront the elephant in the pew!

Bad Church Sign of the Week: Hose to Serve

This week’s bad church sign of the week states: “WE SALUTE OUR MEN & WOMEN WHO HOSE TO SERVE” Do you think they are missing a “C” or are they saluting firemen and firewomen?  What do you think?

Bad Church Sign of the Week: Changing Churches

This week’s bad church sign of the week states:   “CHANGING CHURCHES? – DOES IT MATTER WHICH ONE YOU STAY HOME FROM?” I wonder if someone is a little bitter about attendance numbers.  While I am not a big fan of transfer growth (the type where people hop from church to church), it does happen.  Legitimate transfer growth is when …

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Bad Church Sign of the Week: Get Out of Facebook…

This week’s bad church sign of the week states: “GET OUT OF FACEBOOK AND GET INTO MYBOOK…GOD” I have a Facebook, and I have a Bible.  I like Facebook.  I love the Bible. Maybe we shouldn’t be so concerned about getting out of Facebook, but getting the Bible into Facebook. A standard answer for many Christians is to withdraw from …

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