Don’t Drop Your Kids off at Church

Replacing Parents with Programs

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We have to rethink the role of parents in the church’s strategy to evangelize and disciple the younger generations. Replacing parents with programs will not solve the problems.

Cautions for Single Parents

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Parenting with a spouse is challenging enough, but single parenting is an incredibly daunting task. Consider these warnings as you undertake this important calling for the sake of your children.

Tell Your Kids Your Story

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One of the greatest tools parents have to teach their children is the lessons learned along the way. Don’t miss opportunities to share your stories of success and failures to help them navigate their paths.

Defining Successful Parenting

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Successful parenting must be defined by what God values most in our children’s lives. Parents must take the responsibility to be the primary evangelists and disciple-makers.

Church Changes to Unite Families

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If we are not careful, our churches’ programming will widen the division already present among family members. Here are some changes to consider regarding how your church can unite your family to pursue Christ.

Fight for Your Family

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Church leaders equipping committed parents to disciple their children will accomplish much for the Kingdom and keep the next generation secure. In the fight to protect the home, the church leadership can and should provide the right tools to defend the home.

Make Our Home Your Home

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It was more obvious back in the day when another god had a family’s allegiance due to the shiny statue in the living room. Nowadays, idolatry might not be as blatant but that does not mean it is absent. The lures of this world have many homes within their grasps vying for every ounce of devotion a family can muster.  Fathers …

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No One Leaves a Godly Legacy By Accident

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The Agnews love to be outside.  It is always fun sharing adventures together in the fresh air. When we were teaching the boys to throw and kick the ball years ago, something unique happened one evening in the front yard.  I attempted to share the ball with the boys, but their favorite thing was not to have the ball themselves.  …

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Guide the Next Generation

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One of the highlights of Family Camp was taking my children on their very first canoe ride.  I had the three children (ages 6, 6, and 2), while Amanda and Tammy were in another canoe.  You might think I was brave, but I think it would have more dangerous being in the canoe with Amanda and Tammy with how jumpy and …

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When the Church Hinders the Family

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I mentioned earlier this week that my job has changed.  Serving as a Family Pastor has unique challenges.  For some people, they may think that I am going to provide specific help in family situations.  For others, they think that I will be overseeing all children’s and student ministries at the church.  Some people may think I will provide the …

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Fast Forward with the Family

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I was privileged to serve alongside South Main Baptist Church in Greenwood yesterday.  They are currently in a search for their next pastor and some of their staff and friends of the church have been asked to fill the pulpit until the interim pastor is selected.  I am blessed enough to be considered a friend and got to preach for …

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Bring the Family Back Together

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I’ve been haunted by a question lately: do most people’s most pivotal spiritual experiences happen with their family or without their family?

The more and more I talk with people, the same answer I continue to get.  Most people’s most pivotal spiritual experiences happen when they are not with their family.  It happens at youth camp or youth group.  It happens off at college with a group of peers.  It happens in a one-on-one conversation with someone outside the family.

While I praise God for all of those programs and people, I also find that a disconnect from the family serves to have long-term negative effects.  When youth group becomes your place for spiritual growth, those people have a hard time growing when they aren’t in the youth group anymore.  That student moves to college, that student pastor has new students to watch over, and unfortunately, that person no longer has a spiritual mentor in his or her life.

But, they should.  Dad and Mom should be the primary evangelist and disciple-maker in that child’s life.

Most people’s most pivotal spiritual experiences happen without their family.

And we need to change that.

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“I Got All These Trees”

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Our little family is growing.  Not only in number or size, but we are slowly getting things.  Our minds are growing.  One of my prayers for my children have been, “God, give them a mind to comprehend your nature and help them develop a big heart with which to love you.”

We use different types of teaching plans or Bibles with the children during family worship.  I have contended for a while that the best way to bring my kids up in the Lord is not the best church programs, but what we do in the home.  Lately, I have been retelling the Old Testament narrative over and over to the boys.  I have them repeat different elements to me, and we keep stacking more of the story each time.  They know the days of Creation, the 10 Commandments, and the big picture with the main characters involved.

Sometimes, you wonder if they are getting it, and then, you have a moment like I did last week and you remind yourself that you might be on to something.

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Courageous in Lancaster

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I had the extreme privilege to go and minister with Second Baptist Church Lancaster, SC last night. They were having a “Courageous” weekend, and I got to serve their church in some really special ways.

They had a men’s only screening of Courageous on Friday night.  Sunday morning, their pastor, Brian Saxon, had preached on fatherhood.  From 4 to 6, I taught a large group of guys who gave up a Sunday afternoon nap and a football game concerning fatherhood.  We took a 5 minute potty break, but we got into God’s Word and talked about what it meant to lead our homes.

At 6, I got to preach to the entire congregation.  Adam Langley and his crew did a great job leading worship – so wonderful to be led by him!

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Preparing Families for Worship

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As mentioned earlier, the role of ministers are to equip the saints for the work of ministry (Eph 4:12). We do expect our parents to lead their families in worship, but we partner with them by providing family worship guides to equip the parents for this endeavor. Many approaches exist for how to equip families for time spent at the family altar. Like many other churches, we provide parents with information concerning what their children have learned in church programming they have attended. In addition, we provide weekly family worship guides that correspond with what we are focusing on together as a church body.

On Thursdays, I post a family worship guide that any family, regardless of size or context, can utilize before Sunday morning’s services in order to worship together. Some families do it on Saturday nights. Some families gather around the breakfast table on Sunday morning. Others go out to the park on an afternoon. It is a simple guide that is adaptable to different family situations.

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Don’t Drop Your Kids Off at Church – Now Available!

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My new book is available today!  Order Don’t Drop Your Kids Off at Church here.

Synopsis: Parents have often developed misplaced priorities when it comes to their children.  Many children in America are so busy with numerous activities that their spiritual lives are unfortunately neglected.  Our approach is to drop our children off at the best church in town which we qualify by which one has the hippest youth minister, most attended programs, and nicest facilities.  For all our efforts, children are still walking away from church once they leave the nest.  There is another way.  Don’t drop your kids off at church — bring them home to it.

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When Church Segregates Families

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As a church leader, God has really been challenging me lately.  I feel like it is our responsibility to unite the family at church rather than segregate them. The last verse in the Old Testament prophesies concerning the coming of the LORD. “And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and their hearts of children to …

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The Hippest Church in Town is Not What Your Child Needs

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Something exists in the heart of children to watch their parents do what they cannot do yet.  They stand in awe at early ages of what their parents can do.  I desperately want my children to stand in awe of the way I live for God.  I don’t care if they are impressed by the house in which we live, …

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Preachers’ Kids

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Our culture has a stereotype of pastor’s children that is the complete opposite of this biblical expectation.  When people mention a “preacher kid,” they are normally referencing some rebellious hellion bent on tarnishing his father’s reputation in the community.  This stereotype reveals more than an unfortunate circumstance, it shows unbiblical perspectives and qualifications present in the church today.

Repeatedly, many preacher kids reveal a father who took care of the needs of everyone else except for those living in his own house.  In attempts to appease this member or that family, he neglected his own wife and children.  As the years went by, not only does the minister’s family resent the man of the house, but they also resent the church and many never return once they leave home.

Your pastors need to care for their own children more than they care for your children.

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Why Many Student Ministries Are Failing

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Since the inception of student ministry (not that many years ago), the growing belief is that parents should aid and assist the student pastor to evangelize and disciple the students.  By serving in either assistant teaching roles or crowd control, parents are expected to help the student pastor in his ministerial work focused on their children.  I cannot begin to tell you how many parents describe that situation and say that the student pastor spiritually “raised my child.”

If we were to follow the biblical example, we would reverse the trend.  Parents should not aid and assist the student pastor.  The student pastor should aid and assist the parent to evangelize and disciple one’s own child.

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Don’t Drop Your Kids Off at Church

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Parents have often developed misplaced priorities when it comes to their children. Many children in America are so busy with numerous activities that their spiritual lives are unfortunately neglected. Our approach is to drop our children off at the best church in town which we qualify by which one has the hippest youth minister, most attended programs, and the nicest …

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New Book on the Way…

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Only a couple people have known that I have been working on a new book, and I am happy to tell you that it is almost complete.  The next book is entitled: Don’t Drop Your Kids Off at Church: Bring Them Home to It.

Many of you know that I graduated with a doctorate from Southern Seminary in December 2009.  My work centered around parents being the primary evangelists in their children’s lives.  After completing that mammoth project, I was encouraged by my supervisor, Chuck Lawless, to make the material palatable for people other than my doctoral defense team.

Due to this emphasis, God has used the work to impact North Side but was one of the main reasons I was asked to complete LifeWay’s Courageous Bible study “Honor Begins at Home.”  Here’s the premise of the book:

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